


One of Those Days

by rocksalt_rifle (trismegistus)



Series: Fullmetal Alchemist/Supernatural Mashup [17]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Bodyswap, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-02
Updated: 2009-11-02
Packaged: 2017-10-07 02:46:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trismegistus/pseuds/rocksalt_rifle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fullmetal Alchemist/Supernatural fusion. Magic talisman. Bodyswap. Yeah, Roy and Ed are having one of those days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One of Those Days

Al had said "don't touch the creepy artifact until they had Bobby take a look at it." Ed had heard him shout that from the other side of the room, but it was already too late, he had his fingers on the strangely designed talisman before he even realized he had reached for it. Al was at his side in no time at all, but Ed didn't feel funny or anything. He looked at the talisman dangling from his hand and then to Al, and said "I think I'm fine."

Bobby had looked it over and declared that there wasn't anything wrong with it, or Ed for that matter (unless you counted Ed being an idiot as anything truly the matter with him) and they set off. Ed had left the talisman with Bobby for more research, after all it was fae in construct so there had to be something strange or cursed about it. Ed very distinctly remembered leaving it with Bobby, it had been in a sealed envelope that he had handed to Bobby. Ed wasn't quite sure why everyone was so skittish about it, but whatever floated their boats. So when Ed stripped off his shirt in the cheap motel room he was rather surprised to see it dangling from his neck. Ed stared in the mirror, and then made a small noise of confusion. Al turned around and Ed pulled his shirt back on over his head quickly.

He didn't know why he hid it from Al, but something about the talisman hanging against his chest made him feel warm and safe. He went to sleep with it on that night, tucked safely underneath his tee shirt where Al couldn't see it. Stranger things had been occurring recently than some random magic talisman appearing around his neck.

That should have been the first clue that something was about to go horribly wrong, but Ed was pretty good at living with denial.

When he woke up that morning sunlight was streaming through the window of the motel room and Ed groaned, rolled over and buried his face in the pillow. Something felt extraordinarily off, but he couldn't quite place it. Then Ed realized as he groped around underneath the pillow that his usual knife wasn't in place. That woke Ed right up as he rolled to his knees. As he blinked and looked around, he realized the reason his knife wasn't under his pillow was because he woke up in Roy Mustang's bed.

It wasn't the first time Ed had woken up in Roy's bed, but it was the first time he had done so without any clear memory of how he got there. Usually there was a fair bit of driving involved, an attempt at ditching Al or bribing his girlfriend into making a booty call (not that she often had to be bribed), and then some really hot and mind-blowing sex. Ed could not recall any of this, and if he really couldn't remember the sex part later he was going to be very, very disappointed. "Roy?" Ed called out, and blinked. "Roy?"

That was not his voice coming out of his mouth. Ed had had plenty of practice with oddity in his lifetime, and that was definitely not his voice. He put his fingers on his throat and tried again. "Roy, are you home?"

Nope. That was definitely not his voice issuing from his own mouth. Ed ran his hand down his throat and discovered that he was still wearing the talisman. What in the hell was going on? He looked down and realized he was sleeping shirtless, and had definitely gone to sleep in his tee shirt and boxers. He got out of bed and padded to the bathroom, slapping the light on as he did so. Ed sighed and stared in the mirror. Roy's face was staring back at him. "GodfuckingDAMN it," Ed said loudly, in Roy's voice.

*

Al woke up to his cell phone going off. He slapped around in the dark for it on the bedside table, knocking Ed's cell phone off the table as he did so. Al grumbled and rolled over and fished his cell out of his jeans. "What the hell are you calling ME for, Mustang, it's like four in the morning, why don't you call Ed's fucking phone if you want a goddamn booty call-"

"...Al, I am not awake enough for this bullshit."

Al looked at his phone in confusion. "Mustang?"

"Dude, just do me a favor. Go wake me up."

"What?" Al was beginning to think he was dreaming this conversation.

"What? Oh, for fuck's sake, go wake Ed up."

Al rolled over and looked at Ed, who was sleeping in the other bed with his back to him. He rolled back and reached a behind him, grabbing a pillow and chucking it at Ed. Ed gave a yelp, rolled into the center of the bed and set up, looking around furiously. "...What the, where the fuck am I-"

"Ed?" Al said.

Ed looked around sharply again, looked down at the bed, then up, tugging his bangs into his face, before looking over at Al and saying "Oh, for fuck's sake. Am I dreaming this?"

"If you're asking if you're dreaming it, you're probably not," Al said with a sigh. He put the phone back up to his ear. "Ed?"

"Yeah, this is so not my fault."

"I told you not to touch the talisman, Ed."

"You know, it would help if you told me things before I'd already done them."

"Whatever. This is your mess, you call Bobby. I'm going back to sleep." Al clicked off his phone and shoved it under his pillow, before dropping his head back down.

"What the hell is going on?" Roy asked in Ed's voice.

"Go to sleep, Roy," Al said. "We'll deal with it in the morning."

*

"...we have to WHAT?" Ed repeated incredulously.

"Oh, don't make me say it again," Bobby said. "Usually the talisman switches out married couples, so it's not such a big deal to fix it. Most of the time people don't even realize it and write it off as some sort of strange dream."

Al snorted. "Like this is going to be a problem for them."

Roy raised his hand. "It's going to be fucking weird, that's a problem."

"Well, then we're gonna be stuck like this," Ed said, his arms crossed over his chest. He had tried to pull the talsiman off but it wouldn't seem to come up over his head, and after Al had sawed at it for five minutes with a knife they gave up removing the talisman that way. Ed scrubbed a hand through his hair and scowled. "If we're stuck like this I am so gelling the crap out of your hair, it's too long."

"It's- _my_ hair is too long? Your bangs come to your temples!"

Bobby looked at Al, and Al looked at Bobby. "I think we should leave the two lovebirds alone," Bobby said gruffly.

"Yeah, I think you're right," Al said. "I think I need a few beers, but really the last thing I want to think about is my brother having gay sex."

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Ed said. "You're the one who accidentally sent me your private stash of texts that Mei sent you." He thought about that for a moment and grinned. "She has a really nice rack, you know. You should totally be proud."

"If you EVER tell her I did that I will end your life," Al gritted through his teeth. "I will run you over with your own damn car."

"Oh-kay," Bobby said. "We are leaving now because I know way too much about what goes on in all of y'all's pants and that's just not right." Al let out a laugh and stood up to follow Bobby out of the hotel room.

This left Ed and Roy staring uncomfortably at each other. "This is so weird," Ed said.

"You're telling me," Roy said. "I'm wearing your underwear, for one."

"Way to make with the sexy," Ed groaned. He got up on his knees on the bed. "Come on, you wanna do me? Or do you want me to fuck you?"

"I can't have sex with you, you look like me," Roy said.

Ed started pulling his shirt off. "Well, looks like I'm fucking you because I don't have that same compulsion. And I want to go back to wearing my own damn pants."

Roy rolled his eyes but then Ed grabbed him by his shirt and shoved him down on the bed. "I want things to be back to normal," Ed growled at him. "I don't care how weird things get in the interim, I just want shit back to _normal_." And then Ed was covering Roy's mouth with his own, some strange sort of awkward backwards kiss. "Oh, fuck," Ed said, as, after a moment, Roy slipped him some tongue.

"Huh," Roy said, looking up at Ed with amber eyes for once. "That wasn't so bad."

"Shut up," Ed said, and kissed him again.

*

It was so weird to see his own body as he stripped the clothing off of Roy, so strange to see it arc to him and spread wantonly for him. Ed bent over Roy, his hips settled between Roy's legs. Roy let out a little whimper as Ed played with his cock, fingers slick with precome.

Ed had discovered, to his surprise, that Roy was wearing a similar talisman. "So why didn't you say anything about it when Bobby and Al were here?" Ed murmured, tugging at the amulet's cord. "Where did you get it?"

"Would you believe I have no idea?" Roy said.

Ed snorted, and leaned over to kiss Roy's shoulder. "You have no idea," he repeated. "Sure."

Pants came next, and Ed wriggled Roy out of his own tight jeans. He ran his finger along the edge, before shifting both hands down to help ease them over his hips. It was bizarre to see his own cock from his angle, already hard and ready for business. "This is going to be the weirdest fucking blowjob on the planet," Roy said, and Ed shushed him quickly by leaning down and taking the tip into his mouth.

It felt good, familiar... his tongue swiped over the head expertly. Roy let out a little moan of encouragement and Ed took him fully into his mouth, sucking lightly. "Oh, god," Roy muttered as Ed began licking and sucking enthusiastically. It didn't take long to coax the orgasm out of Roy, and Ed really thought it would take longer given how reluctant Roy was to even have sex like this. He swallowed greedily, taking all that Roy had to offer and licking him clean. "I really thought you wouldn't like this," Ed said. "You're a whole lot kinkier than I thought, Mustang."

"Shut the hell up," Roy groaned, pushing Ed off of him. "It's your turn."

"Ohh, getting all dominant now?" Ed teased. "I like a man who plays rough."

"Do you want to fuck me?" Roy demanded.

"When don't I?"

"Fair enough," Roy wriggled himself free from underneath Ed and shoved Ed back onto the bed. "If you're going to fuck me then you need to be wearing a whole lot less clothes, Elric."

"Woohoo," Ed said as Roy tugged his pants off. They had been growing increasingly tighter, and Ed breathed a sigh of relief as Roy freed his erection from the constraints of his trousers. "So you gonna suck me off, or ride me?"

"Considering you're the one who usually does the fucking I bet you're not stretched enough for me to ride you easy," Roy said. "I'm gonna suck you a bit if you don't mind."

"You're seriously asking me if I mind a blowjob," Ed said.

"Shut up, Ed," Roy said, and swallowed him down.

Ed grabbed Roy's hair with one hand, his fingers wrapping around into his hair and tugging sharply. "Suck it good," he warned. Roy groaned around his cock and Ed closed his eyes in bliss. "Mmm, good," Ed said. "Just like, just like-" He tugged Roy's head back up. "Fuck, I don't want to come yet," he said. "I'm going to have to stretch you, because fuck if I don't want to fuck you right now over and over again."

Roy made a happy noise as Ed flung him onto the bed, rooting around for lube in his duffel bag. Upon finding what he needed, Ed uncapped the bottle and squirted some out into his hand, rubbing it on his fingers. "I want to get this over with quickly," he said. "Before I think too hard about what I'm doing."

"Yeah, yeah," Roy said, laying back with his legs cocked wide up. Ed hesitated a moment and surveyed what he saw, Roy spread and wanton, but in Ed's own body. He'd never actually seen himself like this, and hot damn did he look fucking good. Ed pushed one of Roy's legs up to give him better access before he penetrated Roy with a single finger.

Roy made another noise, a happy noise, coming out in Ed's own voice. "Fuck yeah," Roy cooed, and Ed began to stretch him. "You're bigger than me," Ed murmured in amusement. They'd compared sizes before, and they weren't vastly different, but Roy was a bit longer. He ran his free hand up and down his spit-slick cock.

"You've got better girth," Roy said. "And you know how to, uhn, use it." He pushed his head back into the mattress as Ed cranked him up to two fingers. "Fuck, if you don't know how to use it."

"Are you ready for me to fuck you?" Ed asked, scissoring his fingers inside of Roy, spreading his ass open as he did so.

"Yes, I'm ready for you to fuck me," Roy nearly begged. "Put it in me, Ed, fuck just go ahead and fuck me."

Ed grinned in anticipation, lifting Roy's hips and settling the tip of his cock between his ass-cheeks. "I wanna hear you beg, Mustang."

"Fuck, then I'm begging. God you're a sadistic bastard, just go ahead and fuck me already," Roy begged him. "Put it in me now, I wanna be fucked by you right now."

"Good," Ed said, and slid home.

Roy let out a breathy moan, writhing under Ed's hands. "Fuck yeeeeah," Roy groaned. "That's the ticket, that's the spot..."

"You like that?"

"No, it's the worst thing I've ever felt," Roy bit out.

"Glad to see your sarcasm meter hasn't run quite out yet," Ed said. "Clearly I need to fuck you harder if I want that sarcasm to bleed out your ears."

"Good," Roy gasped as Ed shifted inside him. "Good, fuck me harder. I like that idea, fuck me - oh, god - fuck me harder."

Ed obliged.

*

"I'm going to regret opening this door," Al said from the other side of the motel room. "I know I'm going to. Why am I even thinking about this, I could just wait until they emerge..."

"Would you quite bellyachin'," Bobby yelled from the car. "Either open it or don't, they've had plenty of time to get their jollies off."

Al rolled his eyes, took a deep breath and opened the door.

Both Ed and Roy were thankfully under the covers, Roy with his arm slung over Ed protectively, both of them dead to the world. Al very quietly eased up next to the bed and flipped his army knife open, cutting through the cord to one talisman easily. Al, being every so smart and resourceful had remembered to wear gloves so as to not be affected by the magical mystical juju that kept the amulets running.

Al sidled over to the other side of the bed and flipped the knife open to cut through the other talisman when Ed reached over, without even looking, and grabbed Al's wrist.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ed hissed without opening his eyes.

"Taking the talismans to burn them," Al hissed back.

After a moment Ed released his wrist. "All right then," he murmured without opening his eyes. Al hesitantly cut the talisman free, and then Ed yawned and settled back in to sleep more. Al exhaled, and took the talismans out and back to the van. "Let's burn these," he said to Bobby as he got in the car.

"Never have I heard a better idea," Bobby said. "Let's go."

Ed rolled back into Roy, snuggling up against him contentedly. "The next time you want to do something kinky," Roy said sleepily, "can we do something normal, like bondage or something? That was just off-the-charts weird."

"Hey, at least you didn't get turned into a girl," Ed pointed out.

Roy thought for a moment, opened one eye and looked at Ed. "Touche."


End file.
